Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Mad at myself

I started writing this post saying that I have been "stuck" for the past several months. I guess this is what they call a plateau? Or is it just complacency? I reached my goal of getting back to my high school weight. But the fact of the matter is - I wasn't HAPPY at my high school weight. In high school, I was constantly beating myself up for being one of the bigger girls in school. I was always stuck in the double-digits for pants size: 11, 13 (juniors sizes). And I hated it.

When I reached the 200+ mark and kept heading up, I kept saying I'd do anything to get back to that "high school weight" and that it wasn't so bad.

Now I have reached it... and stopped working so hard. But I don't want to be this weight!!

I will admit that part of me thinks this weight might be what works (best?) for me.... but I want to know that for SURE. I want to lose this extra weight and get down to the slimmest I can be... and decide from there. Because maybe 140 pounds would look even better on me than 160. Maybe 130 pounds would look even better than that! Maybe 130 would make me look sickly - or maybe it wouldn't! But I want to get down to that weight first and decide for myself.

Going back to my first paragraph - I started writing this post complaining that I have been "stuck." Because that's what I perceived. But what I am actually doing - is heading down a slippery slope. Because when I looked back at my weight progress to say that I have been steady at 161 pounds - that's not what my last weigh in said!!!!! I was 159.5!!! Well I am sad to say that I have gained 2 pounds, because my weight fluctuates between 160-162.5 pretty regularly, many times stopping at 161.5.

And seeing the previous weigh-ins... that's really NOT OK.

On a positive note, yesterday was our first day at the YMCA. Our local one offered a "groupon" for half the price of a month's membership. My hubby and I each purchased one so we will have 2 months (for the entire family).

Yesterday I spent time on the treadmill. Spent 1 minute walking, 1 minute running, 1 minute walking. Walked at the treadmill speed of 3.0-3.2 and ran at 4.7. Not sure if that is something to be proud of, but I AM. Because to be able to spend essentially 10 minutes of a 20 minute treadmill session RUNNING - is not something I have ever been able to do before. I know I could have run for more than the 1 minute interval, but the machine was automatically setting it for me since I pressed "weight loss mode"on the treadmill. Next time I think I am going to manually do a workout. Those pre-selected ones can be annoying.

I also found my favorite piece of gym equipment from back in high-school. I have been looking for it for a long time.

The YMCA has this equipment. I think all gyms do, lol. But anyway I love it. It works out your back, and I could use some back strength. It also helps with the back love-handles....and I've got those.

So today is our resting day since we don't want to overdo it on the exercise and then be too sore for the next week. I am feeling pretty good today and I felt great after the workout yesterday (which was more than 20 minutes - 45 total but I'll work my way up to an hour).

So I am setting my goal now: 1 month from now, I need to be at least 4 pounds thinner. I don't think that's unrealistic at all. I'd like to be much more than that but I'll keep it at 4 since that SHOULD be easily attainable.

Not heading down that slippery slope. Not me! No. No. No!!!